My Life As a Woman with Asperger's

I'm just gonna come out with it now: I have Asperger's syndrome. And it's so refreshing to just freely say that since I've spent most of my 22 years of life keeping it in. I barely told anyone, I sometimes thought I was a freak or a contaminated wretch. But overtime, I became a bit more comfortable with my condition, and overcame it in my teens by becoming more social. I accepted my uncontrolled faults and told the world to take me as I am or don't take me at all. I put both my feet down and decided to hit my challenges head on. Now it's time I told you what life has been like as a woman with Asperger's.

To clarify, Asperger's syndrome is a minor form of autism that effects social activity. Most autistics are recluse, have difficulty carrying long conversations, and are more likely to feel embarrassed of even the simplest of actions. Autism or any of its variants is not a disease, it's a neurological disorder. The faster society gets that under its belt the sooner we can deal with it better. It effects developmental skills like reading and writing. I usually have to condense writings to compensate for my admitted inability to make huge pieces (ironically enough my blog posts tend to be gargantuan). I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 2. I even spent most of my primary school days in a special ed class. In secondary school, I spent it wit a TA. In high school, I had to dedicate 10 minutes of free time to the counselor to discuss my progress through my classes with my condition. I always felt so alienated from my peers, and some would often refer to me as a sped, aspie, sperg, retard, etc. My Asperger's became a burden for most of my life, and pretty much no one but my family knows it.

So why do I consider it a feminist issue? Well, despite males outnumbering females in autism diagnoses, girls get ASD a lot more than you're probably told. If you look up the percentage of female autism rates, there's no definite statistic that tells you how many girls actually have it. That's because society has basically swept autistic girls under the rug, so much that I've been told that I'm faking my Asperger's. No one has anything to gain from saying they have ASD unless that person is a masochist who looks forward to the torment ahead.

Autism and Asperger's are used interchangeably but are not complete mirrors of each other. Autism is more behavioural whereas Asperger's is more academic; those respective traits are shared but one is more common in the other and vice versa. Despite the educational obstacles I encountered, I was a pretty good student throughout all my school years. In terms of behaviour, whilst I was initially shy, I attempted to be more outgoing and made good friends but still decided to keep talking on my end to a minimum. I also have a pretty monotonous voice, which has been described by those who've heard me speak as cute or even sexy at times (British accents for the win :D). I'm also kinda clumsy and trip over things at least once a day. I even trace my finger along with my hand when applying eyeliner so I know not to poke my bloody eye out. 

What does Asperger's feel like in your adult years? Honestly, sometimes I forget I even have it now. I can't speak for every case since some have low functioning autism which severely effects motor skills, but for Asperger's patients we'll, for the most part, be able to carry on with our everyday lives. I was able to land a high paying counseling job in October in spite of my condition, and I married the love of my life, so all's well that end's well. 

Autistic women are an unspoken minority, and they've been ignored for too long. We're regular people deserving of basic rights and attention. Some disorder floating around our cortex shouldn't be the deciding factor there. Feminism must provide a voice for all women, and that includes us women on the spectrum. 

Equality Vs Equity

One thing civil rights groups all profess is that they stand for equality. You know, racial equality, marriage equality, economic equality, and gender equality. The word equality is a flagship of politics. But what if I told you that equality was actually not the word we should be using? Standing for a equality is fine and all, but it's actually erroneous of oppressed groups to call for it. The word we SHOULD be using is equity. 

Let me explain how these terms are actually noninterchangeable. Now according to the dictionary, equality and equity seem like they mean the same thing. Even within the context of social rights, they seem to be evenly matched. However, equality means treating everyone equally, which actually doesn't help. Imagine it like this. You have 3 people, one man, one woman, and one child. They're all trying to watch a baseball game, but a picket fence is blocking the woman and child's views. Now equality would mean that the woman and child get a box to stand on, but so does the man, meaning the man still has the better view than the woman and the child. In essence, treating them all equally would give the privileged party more benefits and leave us one step behind. Equity on the other hand would give the woman one box to stand on and the child gets two. The man would not get one since he already has a perfect view. Equity gave the woman and child the same view the man has, but distributed the privileges to where it was necessary. 

In laymen's terms, equality would still favour the privileged classes. Equity would give benefits where needed. Instead of the term gender equality, we should say gender equity. Now I'm not entirely against saying equality in certain contexts, as I'd probably understand what you mean, but keep in mind that MRAs have a habit of twisting our words around to make us look bad. I know it can be annoying how we're always switching up our language, but you might find it'll serve you well in the long run.