Stop Oversexualising Latinas/Hispanic Women

I know I talk a lot about the sexual objectification of women, but I don't think I've ever narrowed it down. After all, not all women are objectified equally. White women are objectified for their submissiveness, hair colours, eye colours, weight, and possibly other racist reasons, black women are objectified for their posteriors and "twerking", Asian women are objectified for reasons that make me wanna vomit shards of my own pelvis, and Latinas are objectified for their posteriors, breasts, faces, skin tones, and even attitudes. I'm gonna focus on Latinas and Hispanics given how I am in fact half Spanish. Here I'll go over the stereotypes and ways which the media reduces Latinas y hispanas to nothing more than flagrant and offencively dehumanising trophies. 

The biggest example of the stereotyping of Hispanic women in the media is Gloria Pritchett from Modern Family. Sure she is played by the Colombian Sofia Vergara, but just because you have an actress for a non-white character, it doesn't mean you can write them however you like. I brought up this problem with Watch Dogs 2, where Marcus, a black male, was written like a white guy. I won't touch too much on that since I'm not black and that isn't my battle, but many things apply here too. Sofia employs a much more emphatic (and somewhat annoying) accent for Gloria to add to the idea that she is a South American immigrant. Sofia's natural voice is not that grating, I promise you that. But because the show is written through the white gaze, which is the racial equivalent of the male gaze, Sofia must have her character appear as obnoxious as possible to her own kind. But that's not all. Her character isn't a strong Hispanic woman, she's your standard sexy mum, because apparently all Hispanic women are just walking sex appeal. Even her 13 year old son sexualises her. That is fucking disturbing. Say what you will about American Dad's Steve Smith wanting to fuck his mum, but at least that show knows to make Steve's oedipus complex look unnatural. Plus I expect gross humour from Seth MacFarlane. I don't expect Modern Family, which prides itself in having a mixed and gay couple (though the gay couple isn't revolutionary either), to pull this bollocks. Every single joke revolving Gloria is how hot she is. At this point I expect the show to just make her go nude every episode and have her breasts swing around at all times. 

Another one is Eva Longoria's character Gabrielle Solis on Desperate Housewives. At first glance, she is portrayed as a strong and in-your-face no-bollocks type of woman. Sad thing is, she still falls victim to the hot Latina stereotype. You see, since Gabrielle is attractive, she's allowed to be a strong lead. But "ugly" Latinas like Consuela from Family Guy (I know she's Mexican but same idea) are just jokes. Consuela is an obnoxious housemaid, another bigoted stereotype of Latinas, and Gabrielle has her shit together. Not only does Gabrielle exist through the white gaze, but the male gaze as well, a killer combination. That's why you won't see black actresses in roles that aren't racially demeaning 85% of the time, but again, not my battle. Zoe Saldana is a small exception to this. She is a black Latina, but mostly is cast in roles that aren't total bollocks. She went from being a world-class assassin in Colombiana to the strong-willed María Posada in The Book of Life. Both of these roles go against common tropes laid out for Latina characters, and the Devil must be given his due. Unfortunately, Saldana alone can't break boundaries for Latinas everywhere, but she's a fine place to start. 

Now it's time for the most common depictions of Latinas and Hispanic women: we are aggressive and violent. Almost every angry Latina in film and television has at least one scene or even episode of them beating someone up with a shoe or a broomstick. Well I dunno about you, but I haven't clobbered my husband with any kitchen utensils. Sure there's that one time he tickled my foot and I mule kicked him in the chest, but that was an accident :P. Back on topic, this paints Latinas in a very bad light. It makes it appear that if you end up with a Latina, she's gonna beat your arse over the most trivial shit. And it's usually venial screw-ups that set movie Latinas off isn't it? Forgot to leave the toilet seat down? SMACK. Accidentally got crumbs all over the floor? SMACK. Woke her up 5 minutes before her alarm? SMACK (ok that one's kinda justified XD). I sometimes say violent things, but you won't see me act on them. But movies and TV shows like to make Latinas and Hispanic ladies look like the fucking Hulk. It's not true. But still, you don't wanna piss us off :P. 

I think I've kept you waiting enough. I'm finally gonna touch on the sexualisation of Latinas and Hispanics. We are incessantly, and I mean INCESSANTLY, turned into sex objects. More so than any other race or ethnicity in fact. If there's a Latina character in a movie or show, there's a good chance there'll be a see dedicated to staring at her bum. Latinas barely have any diverse body types either. They're either rigidly fit with massive bums and breasts, or have giant legs and small torsos. Trust me, my girlfriend is a white Italian and has a bigger bum than me, and I'm British and Spanish (British girls are known for having big bums too BION). You're more likely to find Latinas with a UK size 6 than anything else. We're also expected to have perfectly round bums that glisten off the sunlight. Well hate to burst your bubble boys, but that ain't the case, or at least not with me. I've got cellulite, stretch marks, and blemishes back there. I wouldn't want it any other way if it means destroying stereotypes. We're allowed to have our own insecurities and imperfections. And I'll be damned if they tell me otherwise. 

Just let me say right now that I can't speak for every case. I'm just giving my perspective and the prevalence of these tropes in my immediate surroundings. So what can be done about these stereotypes? STOP TOLERATING THEM ON ANY LEVEL. 1 in 6 Latina women are victims of sexual violence, and the sexualisation they face today helps not. It really isn't that difficult to assign personality to a Latina character, why not start now? 

Bisexuality and Open Marriages

As you recall, I am bisexual. I know I identified as "bi-romantic" before, but things have changed and I'm a full-fledged bisexual. But one thing that I'm sure spans across the board with all bisexuals is the killer urges we get to act on our bisexuality (note: I'm gonna be saying bisexual a lot here). For some, it's harder than others. Now for this reason, most bisexuals remain single so they don't have to worry about being hitched to a man but desperately want to have it off with a woman, or vice versa. But to those already married? You might find yourself in a pickle. You might pleasure yourself to pictures of models of the opposite sex, or you might boldly go where few are brave enough to travel. That's right, I'm talking about open relationships. Or at least more specifically, ones where you're dating both a male and female partner.

Now if there's one needlessly oversensationalised taboo, it's polyamory. You've got people saying it's practiced by rapey Muslims in the Middle East (they say as they go on to cheat on their wives with a new street walker every week), you've got people saying it's selfish and ruins the sanctity of marriage, which is incredibly laughable, or that if it gets legal then slippery slope and all that shit, and you've got these libfems thinking that polyamory is just a way for men to control women, which I honestly don't get the impression that that's the case. If anything, a man with multiple girlfriends is pretty much on thin ice XD. 

Let's get one thing out of the way: Polyamory is one of the most wrongly attributed matrimonial/romantic practices out there. Why is that? Because stupid men use the banner of polyamory as a defence when they get outed as womanisers, or as an excuse so they can cheat on their wives. That's not what polyamory is. Having sex with new people whenever you feel like it is not polyamory. Polygamy is not polyamory, even though they are used interchangeably. Polygamy is multiple marriages whereas polyamory is just an open relationship. Polyamory is more meant for people with high sex drives or just aren't cut out for monogamous relationships, since honestly, being with the same person for all your life can get pretty tedious and often leads to divorces and bitter breakups. Not every bisexual person is polyamorous but the ones who are typically describe their experiences as positive. Marriage counselors have stated that bisexuals in open relationships usually are happier and their relationships last longer, which makes sense. However, not everyone's partner is ok with this and often times will lash out and accuse them of infidelity. As an alternative to polyamory, simple experimenting is also a recommended method to help bisexuals in monogamous relationships sate their desires to be with the opposite sex. 

Just remember that you are not biphobic for not being comfortable with such a thing. Poly relationships are something that require immense levels of trust in order for them to prosper. What WOULD make you biphobic is hating your partner and saying "I should've known you bisexuals were sleaze bags". And if you do happen to be in a poly relationship and at one point you feel you prefer monogamy, you're free to stop at any time. Bisexual love doesn't have to be taboo. All that matters is doing what you're comfortable with.